I is for I Lock the Door Upon Myself

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God strengthen me to bear myself;
That heaviest weight of all to bear,
Inalienable weight of care.
All others are outside myself;
I lock my door and bar them out
The turmoil, tedium, gad-about.
I lock my door upon myself,
And bar them out; but who shall wall
Self from myself, most loathed of all?
If I could once lay down myself,
And start self-purged upon the race
That all must run! Death runs apace.
If I could set aside myself,
And start with lightened heart upon
The road by all men overgone!
God harden me against myself,
This coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease and rest and joys
Myself, arch-traitor to myself ;
My hollowest friend, my deadliest foe,
My clog whatever road I go.
Yet One there is can curb myself,
Can roll the strangling load from me
Break off the yoke and set me free.

 

This poem by Christina Rossetti more than suits my mood this morning. Surely it’s not just because the Full Moon is in Scorpio?

The painting is titled I Lock the Door Upon Myself and its the creation of Fernand Knopff. I used to think it was pretty much a portrait of me (the hair you see) and together the poem and image had somewhat predicted my identity. What nonsense (or is it?)!

I’m not sure I’ll continue with this blog. Not having a laptop over the winter was no tragedy. I is for Introspection, Introversion, Imagination, Inspiration, Intention….there were a few choices, so I might come back to it one day.

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